My main reason for traveling to Mexico was to spend time with Femia and help out in whatever way possible. From the moment we met four years ago, we have felt like soul-mates--almas
gemelas. She has a most fascinating story and I would like to put it in writing. So my intentional focus was to be attentive and listen, to ask questions and record the many stories. Now I need to begin to gather all that I have gleaned, do more research, write and see what comes of it.
At the beginning of the summer, before traveling to Yucatán, I had begun to read books about adoption by speaker and author Sherrie Eldridge. As I read excerpts from the book Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and shared some of the concepts with Femia, many memories and feelings surfaced.
Femia was never legally adopted, however her experiences are very similar to those described in the book. Throughout her lifetime she has had to deal with issues of relinquishment and the pain of abandonment.
At the beginning of the summer, before traveling to Yucatán, I had begun to read books about adoption by speaker and author Sherrie Eldridge. As I read excerpts from the book Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and shared some of the concepts with Femia, many memories and feelings surfaced.
Femia was never legally adopted, however her experiences are very similar to those described in the book. Throughout her lifetime she has had to deal with issues of relinquishment and the pain of abandonment.
A conversation I shall never forget, happened during a brief visit with Efrén and his wife Rita visiting from California. We sat around the table, Rita and I serving breakfast, then Femia asked her brother one question: "What are your earliest memories of childhood?" and he spent the rest of our morning together recounting feelings and happenings that were uncannily similar to hers.
Femia was the oldest of three siblings and each of them at some point was taken away from their dysfunctional mother and placed in a different home. They struggled for years, far into adulthood, with emotions surrounding the abandonment by their father as well.
Efrén told of the day, after he had been taken to Aunt Bicha's, when his father told him to wait because when he came back they were going to go cut wood together. The little guy did just that, very eagerly at first, he sat on the rock by the gate for hours, even in the rain, and refused to go in until after dark when it was obvious dad was not coming back for him.
Femia was the oldest of three siblings and each of them at some point was taken away from their dysfunctional mother and placed in a different home. They struggled for years, far into adulthood, with emotions surrounding the abandonment by their father as well.
Efrén told of the day, after he had been taken to Aunt Bicha's, when his father told him to wait because when he came back they were going to go cut wood together. The little guy did just that, very eagerly at first, he sat on the rock by the gate for hours, even in the rain, and refused to go in until after dark when it was obvious dad was not coming back for him.
For Femia, the train whistle has always triggered a similar memory. Dad told her to pack her things, in the morning she would be going with him. Her little box was ready, but when she woke up he had left already.
Hoping to spare them pain by avoiding the truth, this parent caused greater anguish. Both children suffered the deep pain of abandonment and damaging hatred for years but by the grace of God and the loving families He gave them later, they were finally healed and able to forgive and reach out to their birth parents.
Ted's wedding brought the three siblings together.
What a meaningfull moment was captured in this one photo!
Efrén, Femia and Mosi Haas
